10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

We all make mistakes but the people who
thrive from their mistakes are the successful
ones.

Dr. Henry Cloud
“Never go back.” What does that mean? From
observations of successful people, clinical
psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10
Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books) , Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered
certain “awakenings” that people have—in life
and in business—that once they have them,
they never go back to the old way of doing
things. And when that happens, they are never
the same. In short, they got it.
“Years ago, a bad business decision of mine
led to an interesting discussion with my
mentor,” Dr. Cloud says. “I had learned a
valuable lesson the hard way, and he
reassured me: ‘The good thing is once you
learn that lesson, you never go back. You
never do it again.’
“I wondered, what are the key awakenings
that successful people go through that forever
change how they do things, which propel them
to succeed in business, relationships, and life?
I began to study these awakenings,
researching them over the years.”
Although life and business have many lessons
to teach us, Dr. Cloud observed 10 “doorways”
of learning that high performers go through,
never to return again.
Successful people never again…

1. Return to what hasn’t worked.
Whether a job, or a broken relationship that
was ended for a good reason, we should never
go back to the same thing, expecting different
results, without something being different.

2. Do anything that requires them to be
someone they are not.
In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves,
“Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does
it fit me? Is it sustainable?” If the answer is no
to any of these questions, you better have a
very good reason to proceed.

3. Try to change another person.
When you realize that you cannot force
someone into doing something, you give him
or her freedom and allow them to experience
the consequences. In doing so, you find your
own freedom as well.

4. Believe they can please everyone.
Once you get that it truly is impossible to
please everyone, you begin to live
purposefully, trying to please the right people.

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-
term benefit.
Once successful people know they want
something that requires a painful, time-limited
step, they do not mind the painful step
because it gets them to a long-term benefit.
Living out this principle is one of the most
fundamental differences between successful
and unsuccessful people, both personally and
professionally.

6. Trust someone or something that
appears flawless.
It’s natural for us to be drawn to things and
people that appear "incredible." We love
excellence and should always be looking for it.
We should pursue people who are great at
what they do, employees who are high
performers, dates who are exceptional people,
friends who have stellar character, and
companies that excel. But when someone or
something looks too good to be true, he, she,
or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one
and no thing is without flaw, and if they
appear that way, hit pause.

7. Take their eyes off the big picture.
We function better emotionally and perform
better in our lives when we can see the big
picture. For successful people, no one event is
ever the whole story. Winners remember that
– each and every day.

8. Neglect to do due diligence.
No matter how good something looks on the
outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent,
and honest look that we will find out what we
truly need to know: the reality that we owe
ourselves.

9. Fail to ask why they are where they
find themselves.
One of the biggest differences between
successful people and others is that in love
and in life, in relationships and in business,
successful people always ask themselves,
what part am I playing in this situation? Said
another way, they do not see themselves only
as victims, even when they are.

10. Forget that their inner life determines
their outer success.
The good life sometimes has little to do with
outside circumstances. We are happy and
fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside.
Research validates that. And our internal lives
largely contribute to producing many of our
external circumstances.
And, the converse is true: people who are still
trying to find success in various areas of life
can almost always point to one or more of
these patterns as a reason they are repeating
the same mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes…even the most
successful people out there. But, what
achievers do better than others is recognize
the patterns that are causing those mistakes
and never repeat them again. In short, they
learn from pain—their own and the pain of
others.
A good thing to remember is this: pain is
unavoidable, but repeating the same pain
twice, when we could choose to learn and do
something different, is certainly avoidable. I
like to say, “we don’t need new ways to
fail….the old ones are working just fine!” Our
task, in business and in life, is to observe what
they are, and never go back to doing them
again.